That Which we Covet...

Title: That Which we Covet...
Author: Lishy the Po
Fandom: Angel Sanctuary
Rated: NC-17
Pairing: Katan/Rosiel
Warning: Graphic Sex
Summary: Katan attempts to give Rosiel comfort. Based on the OVA.

On silent feet Katan slipped through the crack in the door and walked slowly toward Rosiel. The Inorganic Angel sat with his back turned, hunched over a feather pillow he had just torn in his misery. Dingy feathers littered the floor around him. His lavender hair was pulled back loose and high on his head. He trembled slightly, but Katan could make out no sounds until he was standing directly behind his master. Rosiel sobbed quietly, almost to the point of silence.

"Sir Rosiel," Katan whispered, his heart aching with unbearable pain. He could not stand to see Rosiel hurt so. It not only hurt him as well, but it drove him to a violent madness he had never felt before.

Rosiel did not acknowledge him. His quiet sobs continued, broken every now and then with a gentle gasp as he caught his breath, his shoulders shaking with the inhalations. Katan dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around the higher angel, pressing his chest to the slim, shivering back and holding the slender being tight in his arms. He pressed his cheek against the gathering of sweetly-scented hair and tried not to weep with him.

"Sir Rosiel," he murmured into the other angel's ear, trying to incite him out of his grieving. The only answer he received was a pitiful, "Sister!" It was harshly gasped, hardly audible, and at the sound of it Katan squeezed shut his eyes and fought the unspeakable rage swelling in his chest. A knot had already formed in his stomach, and a decision had already been made. But now was not the time to feel the rage. Now was the time to calm Sir Rosiel down, to quell his fear and his agony.

"Why?" Rosiel murmured, gripping tighter the shredded pillow gripped to his chest. Katan could not see the wide, gaping eyes that glimmered with panicked emptiness. And neither did he want to.

"Sir Rosiel, please," Katan tried once again, his arms folding closer around the narrow shoulders. Brashly, he buried his face into the mass of Rosiel's bound hair, assaulted by the overpowering flowery sweetness of its scent. He fought the urge to weep so desperately he even began to tremble. Not only was Rosiel's suffering killing him, but so was his beauty. He had shared that beauty with Katan once, on a whim. It was something Katan would never ask for. But it bound him more completely with the one he respected and loved, the one who had given him a new life and who had entrusted in him everything. Katan did not wish to be apart of that beauty because he knew that was an impossible dream; it was a miracle even he could not conceive of. He only longed to be there for it - to be the flower tilting its face to the sun and following it across the sky, to close its petals in woe when the sun set and the moon took over. This was how it had been since Rosiel had been imprisoned and Heaven had fallen to a dictator. Katan, wilting and drooping in despair, waiting and longing for the return of his sun. And now that he had him, he was not going to let anything take him away, not let anything harm him, not let anything stand between him and Heaven. That's where Rosiel belonged. And Katan belonged with Rosiel.

They sat so long in the stillness of the church with only their unrhythmic breaths that Katan lost track of time. No candles were lit on this night; only the moon peering in full glory through the massive hole over their heads. Katan was near drunk on the smell of his master when he felt the tentative hand touch his arm, folding over his forearm limp and dainty like a Victorian lady. He turned his face away from the silken tendrils encasing it and peered thoughtfully at that hand, hidden within a thin, elbow-length black glove. For a moment he yearned to kiss it, just reach over and press his lips to the fabric and the vague warmth beneath. The very thought made him weak in his chest, his heart quivering. He had told himself he would not be greedy. He was here for Rosiel, not for himself. Rosiel had given him life, Rosiel was his life, and whatever made Rosiel happy was what Katan would do.

"Katan," the older angel murmured at last, his voice so very soft. Katan did not move.

"Yes, sir?"

"Why...? Why, Katan?"

For a moment Katan had thought Rosiel was coming to from his daze, but this seemed not to be the case. "Why what, sir?"

"Why... do you... remain with me... when I am... so obviously..."

The words trailed off into a numb silence. Katan closed his eyes and shifted closer to Rosiel, until his entire torso pressed into his back.

"I am indebted to you for giving me life. I only... I only wish to serve you. To be with you. No matter what." He was surprised by how sultry his own voice sounded to his ears, how it clung to the air and dripped warm and alluring into the mind. "You know your beauty is, to my eyes, unparalleled."

Rosiel tensed, then with a faint sigh relaxed ever so slightly, slumping just a little against his servant. Katan swallowed hard, that knot in his stomach tightening. He wasn't sure if he was luring Rosiel from his delirium or trying to seduce him. He told himself he was only trying to help his master, and he was. He was. But... he couldn't deny the unmistakable agony of being so close, of holding him so tight, of inhaling that intoxicating honeysuckle scent that went to his head just like wine. His body throbbed like a bruise, Rosiel's beauty like iodine. Oh, Rosiel, he thought. Will you never understand?

When he didn't say more, he felt the dainty touch of the hand on his arm tighten into a light grip. "Tell me more," Rosiel breathed so innocently, like a girl. Like a child. Katan turned his face back toward Rosiel's ear, speaking darkly in warm breaths.

"You are the most beautiful creature to ever grace the skies. All the beauty of Heaven is unfit for you, it falls so short of what you are. And when you are not there, it is an aching, empty place of pity and lies, black and ugly and vicious. Heaven is not Heaven without the light of Rosiel to dispel its shadows and bless its denizens..."

Katan could've gone on forever, his words like making love, and every word he said was from the heart and to his heart the absolute truth. He stopped, though, when he heard the gentle laugh, and Rosiel held both his arms now with each hand, leaning his face just so to the right so that Katan could see his sharp and flawless profile.

"Pretty Katan," he purred, so soothing, such an austere and familiar smile on his lips. "Still trying to woo me back."

Katan hadn't considered how his words had sounded, and he almost pulled away, thinking he had upset the higher angel. But he had grown bold over the past few days, and especially so since Rosiel had shared his beauty with him so intimately. He lowered his head slightly, showing he'd had no intentions of taking advantage of Rosiel's weakness, and simply said, "I was only telling you how it has been... for me... since you were gone."

He paused, lowering his head even more. He felt his heart beat once, twice, and then realized just exactly what he had meant when he had spoken, and without considering it for even a second he admitted to Rosiel everything. "Heaven is nothing without you. To others it may remain as it has always been, despite the corruption that is taking place. It may retain its semblance of Eden on the outside, but on the inside it is... is raging. I have searched so long to find you, sir. I only want to set things right. I only wish it could be how it was. Everything is so wrong without you. So..."

He trailed off as another realization occurred to him. He wasn't just speaking of Heaven. He was speaking of his own heart. With this understanding suddenly clear to him, he held on a little tighter to the angel in his arms and an anguished expression marred his fair face.

"Maybe it is not Heaven that I wish you to return to. Maybe it has always just been... just been myself."

There was a moment after he spoke these words that everything stopped. There was an abrupt shift in the world around him, and Katan, in absolute misery over his admission and his realization - that he really didn't care for Heaven at all, that the only thing that had ever mattered was Rosiel and Rosiel only - buried his face in Rosiel's shoulder. It was only a few seconds later, however, that Rosiel shifted away from him, turning to face his poor heartsick cherub and taking his face in his gloved hands.

"Katan," he whispered gently, in a mollifying and motherly tone. It sounded like he was scolding him, scolding him for feeling so desperate. "If this be the case, why be so intent on keeping me from my sister?"

The knot grew ever tighter. He kept his eyes averted, his fists clenching. Rosiel went on in his overwhelmingly fondant voice, "If you love me so and need me so, if you can't tolerate seeing me suffer, why not help me instead of hinder me? You only want to make me happy, no?"

His voice, so lilting and faint, so indescribably and heartbreakingly beautiful, tore Katan apart. "I do," he admitted thickly. He found he could say no more.

"Are you..." Rosiel hesitated before actually saying the word, his smile awed and amused. "Are you jealous of Alexiel?"

Katan openly scowled at Rosiel for this, looking as much like a haughty little boy as Rosiel looked like a zealous tramp. The older angel laughed, his laughter as light and crisp as the moonlight that dazzled his eyes.

"My beautiful Katan," he said, bringing his face close to the cherub's and nuzzling his nose against Katan's cheek. "You are my pet. I made you. Nothing could ever be what you are to me, Katan. No human, not even Alexiel. You are my sweet, lovely boy... the one who gave up everything for me..." He pressed his lips to the corner of Katan's mouth, but Katan did not move, not even to flinch. "I will be forever grateful to you and your affections. Even in your rebelliousness I cannot find it in me to hate you. My sweet, sweet Katan..."

Rosiel's hands were on the back of his neck now, his fingers slipping up into his hair, coaxing him to bend his head forward just enough to return Rosiel's lilting kiss. He did so, though he felt peculiarly numb inside, unsure of the things his master said to him. He did not know whether he should be happy or upset. He was wanting too much, something told him. He should be glad to get what he could. And he was glad. But still one thing remained:

He could not let Setsuna Mudou live.

Rosiel's suffering had to stop. If Katan disposed of Alexiel then she would no longer be around to torture Rosiel. He could see no harm in this, as long as Rosiel was with him and not in pain.

"Katan," he breathed against his lips, opening his eyes just enough so that Katan could see the barest flash of golden iris beneath thick lashes. That expression made everything go tense inside, tense with vivid heat and need. "Tell me again how beautiful I am."

Katan tried not to choke on his voice. "So beautiful... that I need..."

"...yes...?"

"...need you... every second... need you all the time. To be with you..."

"...with me...?"

Katan was trembling, Rosiel's gloved fingers gently massaging the back of his neck, just beneath his hair. Delectable shivers raced down his spine and sped across his skin, collecting in a suppressed ache between his legs. An ache further induced by the tempting press of Rosiel's thigh.

"To be with you now," he mumbled, his voice octaves lower than normal. He slid his hands around Rosiel's thin waist, pressing his mouth firmly over the rose pink lips that grinned lazily at him. He suckled tenderly on those lips, overcome with the need for them. A soft moan fluttered into his mouth, and he pulled Rosiel closer, undressing him without any conscious knowledge of it. He lowered him to the floor, among the loosed feathers, his mouth trailing ravenously over cool skin doused in moonlight, lingering along his collarbone and one slim shoulder. Those masked hands were still in his hair, clenching and unclenching in a fundamental rhythm that had yet to even begin. Rosiel arched his back, pressing himself into Katan's torrid kisses, and he moaned when his lips found a pale pink nipple.

Lapping it to a small, hard tip, Katan kissed his way across Rosiel's breast bone to bring the other to a peak, enjoying too much the beauty of every inch of skin he tasted and touched. When he heard Rosiel say his name in a way that seemed like a protest, he paused only long enough to entreaty him for permission.

"Please, sir," he began a little breathlessly, hardly able to look into the slightly glazed golden eyes that peered down at him with bewilderment. "Please allow me to bask in your beauty completely. To serve you completely. To worship you completely. To be with you-"

"You may," Rosiel interrupted, with a tiny hint of frustration, and then Katan was kissing down his stomach without further complaint. He suckled at the indentation of Rosiel's navel for a moment, his hands brushing over the tender lines of his waist. He moved further, nuzzling into pale, satiny curls before gently kissing the tensing flesh just within. From above there came a murmured sound of pleasure.

He moved down the underside of Rosiel's growing erection, tracing the billowing veins with his lips and tongue, causing the other angel to whimper and fingers to tighten in his hair. He moved all the way down, suckling his testicles, drawing from Rosiel a sharp gasp. He went back up with his tongue, laved lightly on the tip of his cock, and there was a groan of protest, of wanting more. But Katan was intent on taking his time, on fully understanding this beauty that could never truly be his. He tongued thoughtfully at the tip until Rosiel moaned loudly and pressed upward. At this he took in the head, sucking and lapping with his tongue, circling its circumference and pondering its deviously sweet taste. Rosiel was incensed.

"Ohnn... Katan..." He was moving his hips, steady thrusts into Katan's mouth, trying to force him to take more, though the cherub refused. Instead he pulled away, leaning over the flushed and agitated angel beneath him and taking in the site of him lying completely bare and spread in the moonlight. His skin was a silvery-pink, his cheeks blushing and his lips swollen, his hair a silver halo about his gorgeously distressed face. He reached for him, his hands and forearms the only part of him still covered, and he tugged restlessly at Katan's collar. "Take this off," he commanded, his voice husky and aggravated. Katan did as he was told, stripping from the uniform and into nothing but the cool night air. The moonlight did him complete justice, casting his naked body in flawless, toned hues of silver and white. Even so his expression remained nothing but warm, loving, and absolute in its desire.

He bent and kissed Rosiel on the mouth, very tenderly, and once again began the path of kisses downward. Rosiel bucked his hips against him, pressing his sex against Katan's stomach, demanding attention. But Katan ignored the silent, insistent pleas, and when he made his way back to the juncture of Rosiel's legs he bypassed the organ completely. Instead he pressed on Rosiel's thighs, parting them to reveal the shiny trail of leakage from the split of his bottom. The seeping golden fluid was smeared along the curve of each butt cheek, glistening pale and lucid in the moonlight. Intrigued and drawn by more than just lust, he bent his face to this place and tasted the thin liquid. It was, not surprisingly, honey-like in taste. Craving more, he spread Rosiel further and traced his tongue around the tight, damp ring, causing the angel to tense up and cry out.

"Katan... please..."

He slipped his tongue within the rigid warmth of the opening, the fluid dribbling like juice from a pricked fruit into his mouth. He sucked while he probed him with his tongue, drinking that fluid - that bizarre beauty - and Rosiel moaned and mewled helplessly, hands tangling tight in Katan's hair as he rocked his bottom into the curious piercing and sucking. Katan was quite enthralled with it, the taste of him, the clenching of muscle around his tongue, the way the fluid coated his lips and made them tingle. He carried on like this for a long while, making love to him with his tongue, slow and sleepy and mellow.

"Kataaaan..." Rosiel groaned as if in agony, shaking and undulating into the deep kiss, one hand pulling free of Katan's hair and venturing up. He placed it on his stomach, fighting the urge to touch himself. "Please... please don't make me..."

Katan was so involved in what he was doing he hardly noticed Rosiel's pleas to stop. When he finally did, reluctantly pulling away, he weakly lifted himself just enough to see into his eyes, so glazed with lustful need as to look teary. He was caressing his stomach with a gloved hand, his erection straining painfully just below where he touched. A glistening trail of gold - the color still discernible in the bleaching moon-glow - leaked from the tip and just down the smooth seam of his left thigh. Katan licked his lips, removing the last traces of angelic come before licking away the trail and then taking Rosiel's entire length into his mouth. He sucked hard, Rosiel thrusting with a whimpered cry into his throat, while at the same time Katan worked in one long finger to his salivating entrance, sliding it in until his lover's cries were strangled and desperate. Rosiel gripped his hair and arched his lithe body, literally sobbing Katan's name when he came, spilling the saccharine, hot liquid down the cherub's throat. Katan took the brunt of his frenzied thrusts with not only ease, but with a great deal of satisfaction.

Pulling away, he lifted himself over his blushing, drained lover and gathered him into his arms. Lying down, he cradled him against his chest, smoothing the hair from his eyes. He wasn't even aware of his own desire - whether it had been filled or if it had been there at all. To fulfill Rosiel's desires, to make him feel passion, to take away his misery for just a while, just long enough to be able to hold him like this - all soft and drowsy and sated - this was all Katan wanted... needed. To be near this beauty, to be given the chance to experience it in every way possible, was enough for him.

"Pretty... boy..." Rosiel mumbled, his voice exhausted. He ran a hand over Katan's chest, down his stomach and between his legs, stroking latent heat the cherub had forgotten about. "The things you do for me."

Katan was quiet, closing his eyes and resting his face in bundled lavender hair. He was a bit startled to feel the delectable tickling of a feather along the length of his sex, twitching and biting back a breath as Rosiel lazily trailed the feather up and down his turgid member. Katan stifled his groan in Rosiel's hair, and the smaller angel rolled over in response, pressing his slick rear against Katan's erection and guiding it inside him with a sure hand. Katan pressed forward, burying himself to the hilt in moist velvet, collecting the slight, downy body against him and holding him there. He closed his eyes again and breathed in the feel of Rosiel's blood, contractions, wet heat, the undulation of tender, damp skin against his groin and all around him. Katan shuddered and held him ever tighter, massaging his chest, his nipples, his belly, undulating his body into Rosiel's as his hands crept down to cup the burgeoning hard-on that was returning. He gnawed on one delicate shoulder while Rosiel reached behind him with one hand and gripped onto a well-muscled ass cheek, as if trying to urge Katan deeper when he could go no further.

They moved in perfect rhythm, completely in synch, flushed and aching bodies yearning into each other like the crash of waves along the shore - white-caps spilling over amber sand, gliding away and always coming back again. Eternal. Primal. Never broken.

"Rosiel," Katan whispered into his lover's throat, kneading his sex as it grew ever more rigid in his hand. "I love you."

The words were slipping out of their own accord. Katan had no control over the things he said anymore. His heart was too full, too glad, too grateful for this moment - all these moments he had with the one he cared so deeply for, for the one he would sacrifice anything for.

"Katan," the Inorganic Angel whispered back, digging silk covered fingers into Katan's rump and moving against his cherub's hand and his sex. "Tell me..."

Katan was pulling out a little more now, pushing in a little harder, and milking the steady trickle from Rosiel's swollen prick. He nibbled on the honeyed flesh of his tender throat, then murmured against his ear, "You're radiant... magnificent... incandescent... the most dazzling, beautiful creature... and I am... I am blessed-"

He was cut off by his own gasp as Rosiel thrust back onto him, as if to show him that he was, indeed, blessed to be in this position. Katan groaned and clutched harder to the writhing body against him, squeezing the slick erection in his hand as the friction of the tightness clamped around him became almost intolerable.

"Huhn...!" He cried out uncontrollably, thrusting hard into the throbbing warmth, and Rosiel curved against him, thrusting into Katan's hand and clenching his muscles tight around him, groaning so that it reverberated through the both of them. "Katan," he gasped, so near climax but unwilling to let go, even as Katan thrust and thrust, working his length as hard as he could only to be frustrated by the steady flow of pre-come that refused to spurt. "Tell me... how you fear me..."

Katan grit his teeth, a new feeling taking his pounding heart as he grew angry with this request. Because the truth was... he didn't fear Rosiel. Not at all. Not anymore. And he didn't want to lie. Even so, he didn't want to displease him either, and the only release he would find would be in Rosiel's own.

"I'm afraid... afraid of you leaving me... again..."

"Katan..."

"Don't leave me..."

And then he was sobbing again, sobbing desperately as he came, gushing in frantic spasms and ramming helplessly inside the shivering grip that held him, as all around him came the hot rush of gold along his pulsing sex, and Rosiel heaved and molded perfectly against him, thrusting up into his hand and plunging down onto his cock. He, too, sounded as though he were sobbing, spilling desperately in glimmering, flaxen strands across the floor. He dug his nails so hard into Katan's rear they tore through his gloves, raking skin.

They lay there gasping, until their gasps subsided, and Katan waited, holding him so tight and close, still inside him despite the slippery peristalsis that threatened to reject him. He knew he was expecting too much, crying as he was into Rosiel's throat and hair, shuddering with the rage of never being able to own him as he owned Katan. It maddened him, that he should think this way, that he should wish for this beauty, wish to claim it. It never occurred to him that he already had, that it was already his and had been since the beginning. That just because Rosiel could not say it, could not express it due to circumstances beyond his control - his poor mind withering, his grip loosening every day - did not mean that Rosiel didn't feel it. He did, more powerfully than either of them could have guessed. Only he acknowledged it in a different manner. Katan could not see the tears on his face, streaming down his ruddy cheeks. Katan took his sudden tremors to be post-coital in nature. Somewhere, hidden deep within the tiny fragments of his mind that were still whole, he longed for Katan to understand. Whispering so dim and distant that he could not hear his own sane voice, I do love you... and I don't want you to leave me either.

But neither of them could feel this, could recognize it. Rosiel was asleep by the time Katan's tears had ceased, breathing even and deep, but never snoring. He was too perfect for that. Katan clung to him intent on not falling asleep himself. He would be here when Rosiel awoke. He refused to wake up himself and be alone, like the last time. He wouldn't let Rosiel experience that feeling for anything, even if to him it didn't matter at all.

The End